Burger King Cinnamon Toast Crunch Milkshake!

Long Live the King!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

This is gonna be a quick one, but I was at Burger King with my friend Josh the other day gettin' my veggie burger on. We were just about done eating when he says, "They have a Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshake now if you're interested." As you can imagine, my eyes lit up with excitement! So I replied with ,"Hell yeah, I'm interested!" Went up to the counter and got me one before we left.

Look at that! I was actually able to find an advertisement for this one!  

Much like the other two (the Froot Loops Milkshake, and the Lucky Charms Milkshake), this one is a vanilla milkshake with the cereal blended in. Easy enough to make at home, but lazy enough to not.

Lets pack that cup!

Sippin' it in the car this time. Gotta say, if you like cinnamon, it's quite good. Josh choked on his a little bit because of the cinnamon, but as long as you're not a little bitch, you should be fine.

If I were to rank the BK cereal shakes from best to worst, I'd say the Lucky Charms one is still in the lead, followed by this cinnamon boi here, and then last but not least the Froot Loops one. There's nothing wrong with the Froot Loops shake, I just feel like the Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch shakes had a bit more flavor to them.

Halloween Crunch!

Happy Halloween, kiddies!

Halloween is here and the time is right for spookin' in the street! If you couldn't tell from all my Halloween blogs and whatnot, I really like Halloween. I don't go to big costume parties or anything to celebrate it really, but I watch a ton of cheesy (and a few good) horror movies each year. This year, I watched a bunch of Stephen King adaptation films such as The Tommyknockers, Sleepwalkers, and Cell. None of those were Casablanca by any means, but out of those three, I recommend Cell. I still haven't seen the new IT, but the original one from the 80's is fantastic. I also watched Hocus Pocus and the first Halloweentown (I think the first one is all I can handle) this year.

I also highly recommend Boys on the Trees. It's on Netflix, and it is a PERFECT Halloween movie. I don't want to talk about it too much, just trust me on this. If you haven't seen it yet, watch it either before or on Halloween. 

But that's enough about that, I feel like YouTuber trying to pad time for the ten-minute mark. This blog is supposed be about cereal, so lets get down to business.

We're doing Halloween Crunch today! The little red ghosties turn your milk green! As you can see from the box, the Cap'n has seen better days. I think he's supposed to be a zombie. I wonder if they're ever made Ol' Crunch a ghost pirate. Y'know, with like a ghost pirate ship and all that jazz. Ya like jazz?

Anyway, let's pack that spooky bowl!

Might be a little hard to see in the picture, but some of the ghosties I poured milk on are already turning a bit green. It's a bit hard to rate these because they just taste like normal Cap'n Crunch, obviously. Cap'n Crunch is good though. So I'm just gonna give it a Spook Factor Rating of 666/10

Oh, and for those of you who were curious, it does indeed turn your milk green!

  

My camera/lighting makes it look a bit more washed out, but it's actually decently green.

I hope everyone has a spooktacular Halloween!

Tune in next time when I purchase a gun. 

What will I do with it?

Who knows!

Oh, and before I go, if you want some scary music this Halloween, check out this Halloween music compilation! Featuring your's truly! (I made a dumb mashup. Don't get your hopes up on it being good.)

https://shovelwarrecords.bandcamp.com/album/halloween-scarocolypse

Pumpkin Spice Cheerios!

My Pumpkin Spice Addiction Continues!

It is that time of the year once again, folks. The leaves are (finally) starting to change color and fall from the trees, it's getting windy, kids are buying costumes, and shit's about to get spoopy! Yes Autumn is finally here, so strap on your UGG boots and cardigans and come have a pumpkin spice latte with me! Or in this case, a pumpkin spice cereal.

For those of you haven't been following my cereal blog for long, or maybe this is the first one you're seeing, I reviewed Count Chocula, some sort of Halloween Frosted Flakes, Boo Berry, and last, and also certainly least, Franken Berry!  All those links will take you to their respective blog post if you want to check them out. I probably shouldn't have done all of those in one month, but whatever. As Dave Mustaine always says, "Hindsight is always 20/20."

So even though I'm out of the big hitters as far as Halloween cereals go, it's cool because I love pumpkin spice flavored stuff. I know it's not everyone's cup of latte, but I loved pumpkin pie since I can remember, and now I can't get enough pumpkin spice flavored things. I feel like pumpkin spice potato chips and garbage bags are a bit overboard, but to each their own.

Well, thats enough rambling about my obsession. 

Let's pack that bowl!

I might be a little biased, but this is excellent! One of the great things about Cheerios is that they're whole grain, and I love the taste of grain. Add cinnamon and nutmeg to the mix and you have me sold. I'mma just rate this one a solid 10/10. Well, I'm gonna go watch Hocus Pocus or something. 

Stay tuned, I have at least one Halloween themed cereal to review closer to when the time comes. Until then, stay spooky!

Mocha Crunch!

They spelled my name wrong on my Starbucks cup!

Hello everyone, and welcome to the most white girl Cereal Blog entry to date (I'd say "of  all time" but we're doing pumpkin spice Cheerios in October, so that may have this beat)!

That's right, folks, coffee flavored cereal! Made to excite my white gurl taste buds! I personally really like coffee. Like, a lot. Well, most of the time, at least. Sometimes my stomach is like "Don't you fucking dare!" but most of the time, coffee and I get along just fine. That being said, I don't usually go for the fancy pants iced-mocha-grande-gelato-skim milk-froyo-Ugg boots-pink sunglasses-Snapchat filter-vitamin enriched (I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore) type of coffee. I just usually drink regular black coffee or regular coffee with like two sugars, one cream kind of deal. Nothing fancy. But either way, I'm pretty hyped to try this out!  

Oh, but before I get any further, I wanted to show you guys some silly thing I made!

Yep. I designed a cereal box. For those of you who know me in real life, you probably know that I can't draw for shit (my creative skills pretty much end at sub-par graphic design and even subber-par memes) so this this creation was sort of a unofficial collaboration with my friend Dani Kassander. She drew the original picture of me eating cereal, and I just went ahead and edited it in GIMP (It's like Photoshop, but free). It didn't exactly turn out all that well as far as GIMP not pixelating her drawing a bunch, but you know what they say, "A good artist blames his tools." Here's the original drawing below.

And while we're still on the subject, check out Dani's official Website (she's an animator!) and her official  YouTube!

Anyway, let's pack that bowl!!

Judging from the picture on the box, I thought they'd be more round, like Cocoa Puffs, but they're more or less flat discs like Cookie Crisp. I gotta say, they actually tasted like a mocha cappuccino! Like, it was surprisingly accurate. Kinda tore up my mouth a bit, but maybe that's because I didn't let the milk sink in enough. Not sure. Either way, I enjoyed it! Giving these an 8/10! If you want to wake up in the morning and want to trick your brain into thinking you drank some coffee because you're trying to cut back on caffeine, then I highly recommend it! 

Anyway, sorry for the lack of jokes, but I wanted to save some of the white girl jokes for October. 

Untill next time!

'Murica!

July the 4th Be With You

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it's hot as phuck outside. It's officially summertime and you know what that means? I'm sick. Yup. I have strep throat or something. I swear I catch a bug every summer. Anyway, it's also the 4th of July. For all you uninitiated non-American readers out there, on this day back in 1776 Thomas Jefferson built a boat and killed the Nazis, and that's why we celebrate. I was thinking about skipping the 4th of July this year as far as bloging goes because my throat feels a little like hot garbage, but Judy bought me just the thing for this event. 

Strawberry and Blueberry Toast Crunch. Get it? It's like red, white, and blue. As long as you count the toast as white. [Some sort of white people = white bread joke here]. Anyway, since they're not patriotic enough on their own, I'm gonna pour them both together and eat it like that.

Let's pack that patriotic bowl, fellow U.S. citizen!

The blueberry ones look a little bit like they have black pepper on them, but they look a little more blue/purple in person. In case anyone was wondering, I tried a little bit of each flavor individually, and I much prefer the blueberry kind. The strawberry by itself was good too, but the blueberry was where it's at.  Both of them together was pretty interesting because I could still taste the individual flavors at times. As if they don't mix super well or something. I dunno. I'm not a scientist, go read a hieroglyph. If you haven't had any [blank] Toast Crunch lately such as myself, you might be surprised to know how much the "toast" actually tastes a little bit like toast. Like, it's honestly really similar to eating jam on toast. 

Overall, I'm giving this experience 9 bald eagles out of 10 Big Macs.

Happy Birthday, Abe Lincoln.

Try not to lose any fingers this year, folks! 

Bush did 9/11

The Burger King Lucky Charms Milkshake!

There's a Whole Bunch of Boys in my Yard!

That's right folks, Burger King is back at it again with the white milkshakes. My sister Judy went to Burger King today to grab my mom some food and she came back with this for for me to review. 

This was literally the best photo of an official advertisement I could find for this thing on Google Images. In fact, the original photo was just a shitty lopsided phone camera picture of all their premium milkshakes. I had to Photoshop out the Oreo Shake logo from the right side. (I bet it's pretty obvious now that I mentioned it, eh?) I'm not sure how recently this Lucky Charms one came out, but I couldn't even find a proper advert for it on BKs official Facebook page, so I'm assuming it's pretty new.

Lets pack that cup once again, my friends!

So right off the bat, you can probably tell that much like the Froot Loops shake, it's just a vanilla milkshake with Lucky Charms blended in. That being said, I actually enjoyed this one a bit more simply because the marshmallows melt and blend all the way through the shake unlike the Froot Loops, so this one has more of a "this is indeed Lucky Charms" flavor throughout the entire time you're drinking it.  Not that the Foot Loops one is bad or worse by any means, I just preferred the unfading taste of this one over the once-in-a-while taste of the Froot Loops one.  

I'll see you on the radio.

It's All Ogre Now

I got more bars than an onion's got layers, player!

Has science gone too far? I think so. But that's neither here nor there. Today, I got something a little silly for you guys and gals. My friends and I were prepping a a hang session, and we went to a Chinese place to get some eats. Next door to the restaurant, there was a grocery store (kinda like a Bi-Lo if you know what that is, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a Bi-Lo if memory serves me right) and while we were perusing the aisles of the store I found this guy!

Shrek themed Froot Loops titled "Ogre O's." It obviously didn't take too much self-convincing to pick these up. Why the hell is there a Shrek cereal in 2017? Your guess is as good as mine. So as I said, these "Ogre O's" are Shrek themed Froot Loops but from Post as opposed to Kellogg's. Judging from the picture on the box, there should be more green pieces than any other color. We'll see if that holds true.

Let's pack that swamp!

Tastes a bit stale, but the box says it's good till August of this year. There are indeed more green pieces though, so in my opinion that's a plus for accurate advertising. Aside from that, it's pretty much just semi-stale Froot Loops. Overall I'd give it a 6/10. Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. I wonder how much of that sentence you read normally since I didn't make it a new paragraph to give it away. 

Until next time, remember: only shooting stars break the mold!

The Burger King Froot Loops Milkshake!

It Was Either This or the Unicorn Coffee

What is up, ladies and gents? Today I have something a bit different for you. I was hangin at my friend David's house yesterday, and he mentioned to me that Burger King had recently released a Froot Loops flavored milkshake, and my cereal-clogged brain was like, "Hell yeah, boi! I gotta blog that shit!" And so today David (David's arm pictured below) and I went on down to Burger King and got ourselves some Froot Loops shakes!

I tried to find a commercial or Internet ad on YouTube to put here as like an introduction or something, and I gotta say, if I'd have filmed myself trying this thing and made an exciting thumbnail, I probably could've got like at least 500 views. This is some hot topic shit right here. Anyway here's just a picture of me holding it instead.

Let's pack that... cup?

So as you may or may not be able to tell from the photo, this is basically just a vanilla milkshake with some Froot Loops blended in. Not that I was expecting anything different, nor am I complaining. It was actually quite good and the Froot Loops gave it a pretty interesting texture. I'd say the only downside to this thing is the price, this guy was like $3.25 or something. Which I guess isn't too bad if you buy fast food milkshakes often, you might be used to that price. You could totally make this for yourself at home without any trouble though as long as you have the ingredients and a blender.   

I'm gonna give this one a solid 8/10. Nothing crazy, but it's still pretty good.

Next time on the blog, I eat a live scorpion. 

Stay tuned.

Rabbits Ain't Shit but Hoes & Trix

Have you ever seen 'Hop' staring Russell Brand? Me Either.

Welp bois and girls, it's that time again. Spring in in the air and so are the allergens. 

This Easter, I went all normie on you guys. I'm just eating Trix cereal, as opposed to last year's Easter blog where I ate malted milk eggs out of a bowl (which you can find here if you're interested). 

Honestly, I just kinda forgot to prepare for it this year, but I still wanted to do something for it. 

As you can see, the Trix rabbit has fallen to the same fate as many other cereal mascots. He's a bit more flat in design compared to how he was a few years back. Looks like he was made in Adobe Flash. I feel like it kinda works for him though. I dunno. Anyway, I'm not sure about you guys, but I haven't had Trix cereal in quite some time. In fact, I'm pretty sure the last time I did they were still shaped like fruits. Now they're just boring old balls of color.

Let's pack that bowl!

Today's blog photography  is brought to you by my sister, Judy, because my phone le epic broke about five days ago [my luck with phones as of late has been spectacularly shitty. Like, fuck.] . On a positive note, the phone I'm planning on getting to replace my broken one should have a much better camera with a nice amount of megapistols, so look forward to more high-quality photos on this bitch in the near future. 

Judy has Vertical Video Syndrome, you'll have to excuse her.
Anyway, onto the review part of this thing. My best friend works at a dollar store, and he told me a couple days ago that hardly anyone who buys cereal ever buys Trix. And after eating Trix today, I can totally see why. They're not terrible by any means, but they're basically just sub-par Froot Loops. So you might as well just go all out and buy Froot Loops. Like, this shit ain't bringin Jesus back, y'know? Gonna give it an average score of 5/10 I think that's my lowest score yet, but then again, I usually don't give a legitimate score to most of the crazier stuff I eat on here, like the candy hearts and stuff.  This has been my incredibly boring, not well planned or executed Easter day cereal blog. There probably would've been more jokes if I had actually planed to do this earlier than like two days ago. Sorry guys. 
Stay tuned for the next CZCB where I only climb half of Mt. Everest, and then fall to my death.

[Fan Requested] Hot Cereal on a Cold Day

90's Kids Only!

So a while back, my friend Grant requested that I eat Quaker Oats Dinosaur Egg oatmeal, and today my other friend Dani requested that I eat oatmeal because of this weather. So today, I'm fulfilling both of those requests and eating Dinosaur Egg oatmeal!

So if you're like me, you had no idea this kind of oatmeal still existed. I haven't had this stuff since I was like maybe ten years old. When was the last time you guys had this stuff? Like, comment and subscribe to let me know. 

Also, check out this super swaggy fan-art Dani made me!

I freakin love it! For those of you who don't know me in real life, this is the closest you'll get to a face reveal for now.

Anyway, let's eat some poor defenseless baby dinosaurs that haven't even seen the light of day yet! 

Dinosaur eggs taste an awful lot like brown sugar. Pretty good though. I actually ate so much oatmeal in a month one time, that I had too much iron in my diet. Crazy, right? I'm gonna give this one a solid 8/10. 

If you have any other suggestions for me to eat on this blog, comment them somewhere below, or just know me in real life and reach me the way you normally do.

Join me next time on the blog, where I jump off the Trump Tower. 

[National Cereal Day 2017] Finding Dory

What is up, buoys and gills?

Today is National Cereal Day!

Unfortunately, I don't have anything quite as cool as last year's National Cereal Day planned this year, but I figure as long as I post something, maybe the Cereal Gods will let me live for yet another year.

One cool thing that I did to celebrate National Cereal Day that you may've already noticed, I updated the banner!

Yep. It's a straight-up Kellogg's rip-off.

I don't really consider myself "well versed" in the graphic design world, but I think it turned out pretty well. Much better than that shitty clip art spoon shit I was using before. In my opinion at least.

If you're a new to reading these, or you just stumbled onto this blog from the wilderness, you can find last years NCD blog HERE!

 And for the lazy, here's a quick video from it:

Anyway, let's get on with the actual blog, eh? 

Today I present to you Finding Dory cereal! Don't get too excited though, it's just Lucky Charms with fish marshmallows. I dunno why, but Jodi loves buying me Lucky Charms rip-offs for this blog. I think she just wants the vegetarian gods to smite me for eating marshmallows. Ah, well. Fuck it, right?

This box sparkly af, fam. I had to take multiple photos of this box just to try and get the glare to not be so obnoxious. This was the best I could do, so deal with it. 

So, you get marshmallows shaped like Dory, of course, Marlin/Nemo, ... Yellow Fish, and White Fish? Alright. You guys could't be arsed to try and make the octopus guy (Hank) or Sigourney Weaver? Shit. Now I just wanna see a Sigourney Weaver shaped marshmallow...

Let's pack that bowl, homie.

 So, I recently watched Finding Dory on Netflix. I wanted to watch it before I made this post because I figured it would give me something to talk about, so here comes that part.

I thought the movie was pretty good, honestly. One of the (usually unwanted) effects of seeing a popular movie quite a few months after its release is that you hear a lot of good and bad things about the movie before you even see it, which can weigh your opinion one way or another while watching it. For instance, I heard quite a few people say that Finding Dory was a complete cookie-cutter of the first film. So when I first started the movie, I was fully expecting Beverly Hills Cop 2 amounts of cookie-cuttery, which wasn't the case, at least in my opinion. Sure, they used a lot of the same secondary characters, but I feel like they introduced enough new characters to keep it fresh. I also feel like the plot and setting were different enough as well. I mean, it's a movie for kids whatthefuckever, right?

Anyway, that's just like, my opinion, man. I'm by no means a movie critic. Honestly, I'm hardly even a cereal critic.  Speaking of which, I'm not even giving this a rating, it's Lucky Charms with the Disney Skin DLC pack.

Tune in next time when I bash a penguin's head in with a rock and eat it's brains.

Chad Zilch: Lost in Antarctica

Valentine's Vlog!

You read that right, bitches!

I did a vlog, sort of. Most vloggers actually talk throughout their videos, whereas I more or less just filmed myself eating gross stuff with my shitty smartphone camera. Either way, I'm calling it a vlog. 

I know I've been gone for a while, but that's because I have been trying to cut back on carbs because I'm a phat boi. So I took a bit of a New Years break just to keep myself on track with that. But I'm back, and I already have a few other posts that are actually about cereal planned. 

Anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy this poorly produced monstrosity.