Touchdown Crunch

Hey there, sports fans!

So I was pretty on the fence about posting this on Thanksgiving because if there's one thing people wanna see on a day that's notorious for stuffing your face, it's even more food. But here I am, posting this. 

Thanksgiving and football go hand-in-hand, unless you're me or someone who doesn't like sports. I don't even know if there's a game today, to be honest. Personally, I've become accustomed to watching the Mystery Science Theater Turkey Day marathons. To each there own, though.

...What the heck was I talking about again? Oh, right! Thanksgiving and football. 

So after everyone has had their fill of food and/or arguments. your dad and grandpa and that really fat guy you believe to be your cousin all gather around the flicker tube (Flicker tube? What am I? 80?) and watch a good old game of touch-em-down. So today, we're gonna score a field goal with the Cap'n! (Are you tired of my completely ignorant football jargon yet? Me too, actually.)

(I said) Yep! (what a concept) I got myself some Touchdown Crunch cereal. Got this shit at a Dollar Tree store about a week ago. I haven't even seen this in your usual grocery store, but I'm guessing it's been out for a bit and these are the sad, lonely leftovers that didn't make it off the self quick enough. It's fine though because the box says they're good till March of 2017, so who am I to judge? Plus I got this 13 ounce box for just a dollar, so I'm probably gonna get more stuff from the Dollar Tree in the future for later cereal blogs.  

Anyway, it's your usual Cap'n Crunch, but with 'football shapes' opposed to Crunch Berries. These football shapes are basically just elongated Crunch Berries. Like someone at the factory fucked up and the CEO was like, "Football players carbo-load on cereal. These are cereals that kinda look like footballs... It's a win-win situation! You're still fired for fucking up though, Jim." And thus Touchdown Crunch was born.

Let's get to the end zone, or whatever the fuck.

Yeah, that's Cap'n Crunch all right. 

The roof of my mouth is bleeding profusely, but that's the price to pay for this delicious American pastime inspired razor blade cereal. Don't get me wrong, I love Cap'n Crunch, but gosh dang, my mouth sure doesn't.  You could make a kitchen knife out of this stuff. 

8/10
I'm deducting points for the physical and emotional damage.

Before I go, check out this pic from Cap'c Crunch's Facebook page:

He apparently teamed up with some clothing line(?) called KITH and he looks like a freakin gangster Fred Flintstone. 

Cap'n Midlife Crisis, is more like it. 

Anyway, bye. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Check out the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon on Youtube if you're into that kinda thing.